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July 23, 2004
Against the Wall (III)
I would like to thank Miriam, my first Guest Blogger for the following review of Against The Wall.
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She had the book Against the Wall, which I started on Friday night and finished on Motzei Shabbos. The title sounded familiar, and after reading the back, I realized it was written about by Shlomo and Cookie. I hadn’t read their posts on it too deeply because I hadn’t read the book, and wasn’t sure what I’d find inside the pages. I was ready for a Jewish style, Libby Lazewnick type, sappy novel where teenagers have melodramatic problems, then find hope in Hashem and yay, everyone’s happy.It wasn’t like that at all.
I got pulled into the characters’ lives. I sympathized and cried for them (don’t tell anyone).The situation was dramatized realistically. We were able to see the hopes, desperation, and frustration of all parties involved.. The parents did come out as the mean ones, though, although some did try to improve. In the case of Sruly’s dad, he practically made a 180 degree turn.
All in all, it was a book parents and teachers and teenagers alike should read.
I closed the book with a feeling of relief for the characters. There were more battles and disagreements with their parents yet to come, but something inside them was fixed. Something within them was healing, was calming down, and if they continued the way they were going, would go on to lead productive, fulfilling, and even happy lives.
One of the messages I gleaned from the author is that some teens just don’t have the zitsfleish or personality to stay in the yeshiva system. It is the parents’ fault for unrealistically expecting their underachieving/restless children to stay in school, instead of sublimating their non-cookie cutter characters to a more positive vocation. They practically force their sons into miserable lives, lives that the boys will do anything to get out of.
Undoubtedly, there are too many parents who force their children onto the “only” correct path for a Torah Jew. Others, like Sruly’s, take a high handed approach to raising their children. However, as the perpetual Devil’s advocate, I feel that the parents were underrepresented. Only the worst and weakest sides of their personalities were shown. They were militantly opposed to giving their sons a little leeway, but their reasons for doing so weren’t expained well enough. When they first saw their sons leaving Torah u’mitzvos, they acted out instinctively, just like their children did. Of course, I’m not condoning their actions, only noting that their motives weren’t given the sympathy they should have gotten.
What about the flipside? What of parents who try their hardest to connect with their veering sons or daughters, but don’t get a reciprocation?
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Posted by notepad at July 23, 2004 12:01 AM